Worst Month.... Ever.

Do you know what it's like to be lower-middle class? Honestly. It's worse than being lower class. There's just no breathing room. Welcome to my family.

This month has been the worst. Between the school troubles in the middle of the semester and everything that's happened since just before Thanksgiving break... My life has broken. Trying to pay the bills, do my school work, help my family, and maintain some sort of sanity despite it all has been nerve racking to say the least. Here is an interesting article, In Entitlement America, The Head Of A Household Of Four Making Minimum Wage Has More Disposable Income Than A Family Making $60,000 A Year. 

Half of my family supports my decision to quit full-time work and pursue an education. This is the half that listens to me complain about homework, lets me do my laundry for free at their house, lets me piggyback on their internet when I'm in town, and feeds me when I just can't seem to get my kitchen cleaned up. It's not the monetary support that I desperately need for reassurance but it does wonders to save myself from daily stress. I couldn't be where I am now without them.

However, there is a catch. I love the dearly but we are poor. So when my mom's car stops dead in it's tracks, I have no choice but to come to her rescue. She's been there for me for 23 years. It's the least I could do to take a day off of school and help her get to work so she can pay the bills. Without her job, her and my siblings would be in trouble. It just couldn't come at a worse time. I'm two weeks behind in my homework (or at least it feels like it) because I had to pick up holiday retail hours to pay my bills.

On top of my regular bills (cell phone, power, and rent,) I have to worry about food. I let my food stamps run out and haven't had time to get the paperwork together. I've really, honestly, been THAT busy. Shower, school, work, sleep, repeat. Eat occasionally, wash clothes, care for cats. You'd be surprised how draining that can all be when you're worried if you'll have enough to pay the electric bill next month.

Then there's the other half of my family. There is a ringleader to this mentality, but apparently it's a bad idea to give up a really crappy, soul-sucking job in "this economy" to go to school full-time. I think they just wanted to get out of helping me with school, after they spent my college savings on the down-payment for the house that went into straight back to the bank after 3 years. Real smart on their part.

So now I have a week left before exams. 22 hours of work this week. A loving family without a car, who may end up in a bad spot if I can't help. And a load of homework that makes me want to cry, crawl under the covers, and hope I die in my sleep. Really. ... No, not really. But close.

Wish me luck!

Link Spam

Yes, as promised to myself in another bloggers comments I'm posting a bunch of links. Why? Because it's my blog and I can. Also, they're amusing. At least they are to me. I will post a somewhat descriptive title so you're not walking into any crazy weird places that make you fear for your life (or sanity.) Fear not. There may be multiple links per entry to emphasize certain points.


This author is an English teacher's worst nightmare. Apparently, however, people actually like his stuff! I'm thinking conspiracy theorist meets Pre-K.

For your musical amusement I present Failing Hard Drive Sounds. When you get multiple tracks going it sounds very techno. Try it out!

I love Flow Charts. They make me happy. There are some good ones online, but I prefer XKCDs version.

I'm not a huge English-y, poetry, yada yada fan. But I do love one author and her fellow Deadline Dames. They write urban fantasy. Lilith Saintcrow's single greatest achievement however is her Squirrel Terror blogs. If you want to laugh until your sides hurt and you share a fear/amusement of squirrels, you can check them out on her blog here. (Make sure you check the dates and start from the beginning.)

I love sarcasm. I actually thought this article was real until I thought about it... Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?


All in all this list just reminds me that I have to get all of my bookmarks in one place. I have PostIt notes and folders full of references I need to organize. Not to mention my old laptop needs to be cleaned out and have the preferences transferred to my new one (which should have happened over a year ago, but I'm forgetful like that.) And on my new computer I have bookmarks in FireFox and Chrome. Really. How am I supposed to keep track of these? (Not to mention all the links I share on my Facebook.)

So, dear reader, what do you think? How do you manage your favorite sites online? Do you have a jumbled mess of bookmarks like I do?

Burning Out

College life is stressful. No matter how you look at it. Social situations, homework load, finals.... How's a person supposed to keep up?

It happens the same every semester and I fear it's going to keep occurring.  Catch yourself staring at the same page for 10 minutes or more? Not absorbing any information, just trying to trick your brain into comprehending that one paragraph? Putting off that assignment until you feel better? Get a grip on the idea? Skipping class? Making excuses?

Well, the days of excuses are coming to an end. That week is coming, whether you like it or not. It's unavoidable. Better just grab a cup of coffee (as in my case) and get to it. There's not more running come finals week. Sink or swim. Yeah, I went there? Is it wearing on you yet?

Besides just grabbing the nearest caffeinated beverage at buckling down, what else can you do?

Relax. Sounds difficult, even counterproductive, but it does wonders. Start small.

1.When your brain starts to feel like it's trying to claw it's way out of your skull, take something for the pain and switch tasks. Cleaning my apartment and watching an hour or two of TV do wonders for me.

2. Feel like skipping class? I don't condone this kind of behavior but I'm going to say it anyway: It's okay. As long as you're not habitual and you don't feel like you'll miss much, sometimes we just need a break. Just don't make that break detrimental to your studies. No sense skipping a review day if you really feel like you're not ready for finals.

3. Homework been piling up for weeks? Prioritize. Some of those short assignments add up to a lot of time. Time you could use perfecting that paper you have to turn in in two days. Those little points add up but it's much worse to miss those papers that could cause a more serious dent in your grade. Still worried? Talk to your professors. Sometimes they can offer advice and guidance you wouldn't normally think of. Most are even understanding. Remember: They were college students once too! (Scary, right?)

Above all, you should remember that it's not the end of the world. Stress only begets more stress when you think about it. Keep your eye on the prize, friends! Christmas vacation is only a few short weeks away!